Download and read online Confessions of a Domestic Failure in PDF and EPUB Instant Bestseller From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for moms everywhere There are good moms and bad moms—and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.
Download and read online Confessions Of A Domestic Failure in PDF and EPUB
Download and read online Confessions Of A Domestic Failure in PDF and EPUB From the creator of The Honest Toddler comes a fiction debut sure to be a must-read for mums everywhere There are good mums and bad mums — and then there are hot-mess mums. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mum who’s trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mummy-blog-empire maven she idolises, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mum she’s always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley’s story reminds mums that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.
Download and read online Toddlers Are A holes in PDF and EPUB Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
Download and read online Sh tty Mum in PDF and EPUB Children. They want everything and they want it now. They don't care about killing your sex life or the way they add six inches to the length of your breasts, and they sure as hell don't give a sh*t that you only slept four hours last night. Any person, physical need or dream that takes you away from them for even five seconds is their natural enemy and must be crushed with loud, endless cries. This book is about how to survive babies, and what they grow into: children. It's about shortcuts and parenting with 40% effort. You'll learn how to ignore, avoid, threaten and lie in easy-to-skim-while-locked-in-the-bathroom mini-chapters, plus valuable 'How to Fake it' tips to help you through those days when there isn't enough sh*tty advice in the world. We get you. We get your little dictators. And we can help.
Download and read online Confessions of a Scary Mommy in PDF and EPUB Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.
Download and read online W h ine in PDF and EPUB This isn't your ordinary wine pairing book--this is wine pairing for the weary parent! Did your daughter just get out of bed for the twelfth time to ask for a glass of water? We've got the perfect ros� for your sanity. Did your son just have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store? We've got a Pinot for your pain. Has your child's math homework left you in a state of total depression? Try a Syrah to get you out of that funk. W(h)ine includes fifty perfect pairings to match your child's perfectly rotten behavior! You'll also discover the best ways to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew (hint: use a shoe). As a bonus, each wine featured in the book comes with a sticker, so every time you sample a wine to match a rotten behavior, go ahead and add it to the Periodic Table of W(h)ine that folds out of the book. The sticker groupings will help you determine if your child has behavior problems, attitude problems, or just plain bad DNA! So whether you like your "juice" from the glass, the bottle, or the box, this is the perfect book to wine your way through the joys of day-to-day parenting.
Download and read online Leave Me in PDF and EPUB “This surprising, compassionate story brings to life the secret, guilty fantasy of many overworked moms.” —People “In an enthralling novel reminiscent of Anne Tyler’s Ladder of Years, a woman who recently suffered a heart attack runs away to recover her equilibrium.” —O, The Oprah Magazine Every woman who has ever fantasized about driving past her exit on the highway instead of going home to make dinner, and every woman who has ever dreamed of boarding a train to a place where no one needs constant attention--meet Maribeth Klein. A harried working mother who’s so busy taking care of her husband and twins, she doesn’t even realize she’s had a heart attack. Surprised to discover that her recuperation seems to be an imposition on those who rely on her, Maribeth does the unthinkable: she packs a bag and leaves. But, as is often the case, once we get where we’re going we see our lives from a different perspective. Far from the demands of family and career and with the help of liberating new friendships, Maribeth is able to own up to secrets she has been keeping from herself and those she loves. With bighearted characters--husbands, wives, friends, and lovers--who stumble and trip, grow and forgive, Leave Me is about facing the fears we’re all running from. Gayle Forman is a dazzling observer of human nature. She has written an irresistible novel that confronts the ambivalence of modern motherhood head on and asks, what happens when a grown woman runs away from home?
Download and read online Mommy Needs a Raise Because Quitting s Not an Option in PDF and EPUB Goodbye, Board Room and Legal Briefs--Hello, Dimples, Diapers, and Destruction Women know that raising children will be different from climbing the corporate ladder. But nothing can truly prepare them for the mind-muddling world of motherhood. It doesn't take long for a new mom to question whether her tyrannical, diapered boss really understands her value to the organization. Because honestly? She's not always sure herself. With her signature wit, lawyer-turned-full-time-mommy Sarah Parshall Perry says what all new moms are thinking when they trade annual reports for homework help and yoga pants. Perry invites moms to laugh alongside her amidst the "Are you kidding me?!" moments that come with the job of raising humans. This book is story of every mother who gives up one thing to get something better--and ends up finding out what she's worth along the way.
Download and read online You re Doing a Great Job 100 Ways You re Winning at Parenting in PDF and EPUB Stop feeling like sh*t for being a mom—laugh-out-loud affirmations for every parent Guess what? This “parenting book” is not designed to make new parents feel bad. Authors and co-hosts of the popular comedy podcast One Bad Mother, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn, know firsthand that raising kids is tough. They also know that, most likely, parents are winning more than they’re failing. This book reminds parents that it’s okay to have a low bar. Celebrate what did happen, not what didn’t, including gems such as: Did you get up this morning? Great! You’re doing an awesome job! Your kid fell asleep? Even if it was just for two hours, that’s amazing. Good job! Has your kid eaten? That’s probably your doing, so yeah, you’re a winner! The perfect gift for the growing family, You Are Doing a Great Job! is the much-needed reminder to screw all expectations and advice. It belongs on the shelf next to Go the Fu*k to Sleep and Let’s Panic About Babies. Or better yet, tear out the pages and hang them up.
Download and read online The Good Mother Myth in PDF and EPUB In an era of mommy blogs, Pinterest, and Facebook, The Good Mother Myth dismantles the social media–fed notion of what it means to be a “good mother.” This collection of essays takes a realistic look at motherhood and provides a platform for real voices and raw stories, each adding to the narrative of motherhood we don’t tend to see in the headlines or on the news. From tales of mind-bending, panic-inducing overwhelm to a reflection on using weed instead of wine to deal with the terrible twos, the honesty of the essays creates a community of mothers who refuse to feel like they’re in competition with others, or with the notion of the ideal mom—they’re just trying to find a way to make it work. With a foreword by Christy Turlington Burns and a contributor list that includes Jessica Valenti, Sharon Lerner, Soraya Chemaly, Amber Dusick, and many more, this remarkable collection seeks to debunk the myth and offer honest perspectives on what it means to be a mother.
Download and read online Conquering Infertility in PDF and EPUB Infertility is a heartbreaking condition that affects nine million American couples each year. It causes tremendous stress, can trigger debilitating sadness and depression, and can tear a marriage to shreds. In Conquering Infertility, Harvard psychologist Alice Domar—whom Vogue calls the “Fertility Goddess”—provides infertile couples with what they need most: stress relief, support, and hope. Using the innovative mind/body techniques she has perfected at her clinic, Domar helps infertile women not only regain control over their lives but also boost their chances of becoming pregnant. With Conquering Infertility, women learn how to cope with infertility in a much more positive way and to carve a path toward a rich, full, happy life.
Download and read online The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting in PDF and EPUB Ilana Wiles is not a good mother. She’s not a bad mother either. Like most of us, she’s normal. From the creator of the wildly popular blog Mommy Shorts comes Ilana Wiles’s first humor book on remarkably average parenting. If you want solid advice about raising kids, this book is not for you. If you want to wallow in your own misery about how having kids is AWFUL, this book is not for you. This book pays homage to the every-parent and suggests that they are the people having the best child-rearing experience of all. Using Wiles’s signature infographics and photographs to illustrate her personal and hilarious essays on motherhood, the book is an honest guide that celebrates the fun of being a mom.
Download and read online The Big Bed in PDF and EPUB
Download and read online The Happiest Mommy You Know in PDF and EPUB “A guilt-free ticket to refocusing your priorities.” —Parents ABC News reporter (and mom to three) Genevieve Shaw Brown reveals the deceptively simple golden rule for maternal happiness and how today’s busy moms can live better, healthier lives. ABC News reporter Genevieve Shaw Brown was hell-bent on raising her kids to like vegetables and eat more than chicken nuggets for dinner. She woke up at five a.m. every morning to prepare perfectly portioned meals of turkey meatballs along with veggies, couscous, mashed cauliflower, and sliced fruit for her small children. While eating lukewarm mac-n-cheese out of a brown paper box and feeling sluggish and tired most of the time, she realized that she had never considered eating what she made for her kids. After that, Brown put herself on the “Baby Diet”: she ate the healthy food her kids ate, minimized snacking, and created a more regimented meal plan. She felt better, lost those stubborn pounds, and prepared a short segment on her new diet for Good Morning America that went viral. After that, she began thinking further: what happens when you treat yourself the way you instinctively treat your children? From sleep training to exercising to making time for friends, Brown shares her own stories, expert advice, and innovative hacks to address the common issues mothers face while teaching women how to care for themselves with the same love and attention they give their children and families every day. The Happiest Mommy You Know is the life-changing and incredibly positive approach to the challenges of modern parenting—and gives parents permission to finally treat themselves better.